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"You Hate Me!"

7/5/2022

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Picture
Nancy Oleson, the ridiculously spoiled adopted daughter of Harriet and Nellie Oleson in the old television series, "Little House on the Prairie" would blurt out "You hate me!" whenever she didn't get her way.  It was her very intentional and manipulative method of gaining sympathy, especially from Harriet.

As much as Nancy made the lives of those around her difficult, no one actually hated her. Certainly there were those who disliked her behaviour and wouldn't approve of her shenanigans.

Hate is such a strong word.  Unfortunately it is still being used to manipulate a reaction.  If you disagree with someone, particularly if you don't approve of someone's choices, you are deemed to "hate" them (or fear them).  But neither of these are necessarily true, and in the extremely vast majority of cases, it is not true at all.

Because I don't support what someone does not mean I hate them, fear them, or wish to stay away from them.  It simply means I don't support what they are doing.  Period.

Why don't I support them?  I don't need to give a reason.  It is my prerogative not to support what everyone does, just like it is their prerogative not to agree with me.  And that's fine.  That's what makes us a civil nation. We can disagree.  We can even agree to disagree.  If you really want to know why I can't support certain things, I'm happy to sit down and have a cup of coffee or tea with you to discuss it.

But when the word "hate" is thrown out there, what I am essentially being told is that I can't disagree with someone; that if I don't support them fully, that I must be hateful or fearful.

That is manipulation of the Nancy Oleson variety.

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