Whitehorse Church of the Nazarene

Choosing Wisely: Before You Divorce

When problems develop in a marriage in our society, it's not uncommon for a couple to consider divorce. The stigma haslessened. The legal process has become simpler. The rationalization is strong. Emotions are out of control.

A high-speed, almost "automatic" process begins and rapidly gains momentum
- One or both of the marriage partners retain an attorney.
- Separation occurs.
- Legal separation documents are prepared.
- One or both parties begin a new relationship with another person.
- Divorce is granted.

Some couples seek counselling before this process begins. Others attempt counselling as they march toward divorce. If the counselling is unsuccessful, then the countdown described above begins or continues.

Once underway, every step of this process takes the couple further from each other and closer to divorce. The momentum accelerates quickly as attorneys build walls between the couple, and friends or family members encourage each individual to "get on with your life." The divorce train gains speed as it races down the track toward dissolution of the marriage and frequently becomes out of control and unable to stop.

Before You Divorce is a five week video series designed as a tool to help you "stop the train." It will help you cut through the deep emotion and hurt to paint a realistic, stark picture of what the couple can expect if they continue toward divorce. It becomes a "reality check" that will help keep families together. Couples will see that the pain and trauma of divorce are often much worse than the difficulties they now face in marriage.

Before You Divorce can be started any time with just one couple as there is no need for a whole group of people to take the program together.